Brokeass Fatass Bra Shopping

I bet you didn’t know that Saturday night at Target on Jantzen Beach is a total meat market. Forget the bars and clubs – if you want to find yourself a hot date, Target is the place to hang. But that’s the beside the point of my original reason for cancelling my plans to head to Target in the first place: I was on a mission to find a cheap bra to fit my plus-size body.

I don’t know what size bra I wear, really. I went to Victoria’s Secret (wait, was that on a Saturday night too?) to get measured several years ago and was told I was a DD cup. I am definitely not a DD cup. If I was a DD cup, why would DD bras cover so much more than my boobs? I don’t think my lady would affectionately comment on how small my boobs are if I was a DD cup. I heard that I’d eventually become a DD if I ate enough burnt toast in high school, but it never happened and I eventually became OK with that. Anyway, this comment actually spawned somewhat of an argument between myself and the thin silk-clad woman with measuring tape draped across her shoulders.

“I’ve been doing this for years,” she stated passionately, fingering the ends of her baby pink measuring tape with pride.

“You are a 40DD, and we don’t carry anything in your size here. Try Lane Bryant.”

You know, in reality, I only walked into Victoria’s Secret in the first place because they were having a huge bra sale, but now I’m being shooed to the fat business casual store. I guess I should have known better. And what kind of bras does Lane Bryant have, anyway?

I located Lane Bryant and edged past the muu-muu adorned mannequins and into the lingerie section. My question was immediately answered by a purple sign surrounded by granny panties and “full coverage” undergarments – Expensive ones. $40 bras, compared to the cheap ones that don’t come in my size at Victoria’s Secret. Bras I can’t afford. Bras that were ugly, unflattering and overpriced. Bras where my beloved cleavage would be hidden with the ultimate goal of making me look smaller. Ok, so I understand that some fat bra-wearing people want this look, but I don’t. Busting out makes me feel hot. Clothing retailers don’t give fat people variety, and they definitely don’t give us a break on price for “all of the extra material.” Oh please. I left the store in a huff.

Broke fat people can sometimes buy bras at Ross, I suppose. I do that sometimes. Delta Burke makes bras that are occasionally cute and flattering, however they are essentially disposable due to how cheaply made they are. I’ve been rocking a Delta Burke bra (a C cup and a bra extender – if you’re a fatty and you don’t have a bra extender, go get one! Trust me!) with a safety pin for months now, though, which is a pretty decent stretch for an $6 bra.

So, back to Saturday night’s Target experience. Target was having a huge bra sale, and I figured that now was probably the time to replace my beat-up Delta Burke bra. I learned quickly that this sale was only for bras that go up to 38D, and that bras in my size were in the $20 range. Sale my ass. I put my shopping basket down and left the store frustrated as usual, like most of my retail clothes shopping experiences.

I thought about stores like Torrid, who I recently wrote about on my blog when I received an e-mail asking me to sign up for a modelling boot-camp reality TV show if I had a “pretty face.” Man, I love my face, but reality TV? Lose weight and be publicly belittled on MTV while doing so? I bet THAT’LL do a lot for fat acceptance… Anyway, Torrid carries some cute bras in slightly bigger sizes at excruciatingly high prices, just like the rest of their clothes. At least Torrid’s leggings are less disposable than the ones made by some other stores. Hey, my thighs rub, but that doesn’t mean you should make me have to buy a new pair of leggings every two weeks. And do you really make them *so well* that you have to charge $25 for them? Or is that for the “extra material” too?

You know, the only time I really envy skinny people is when I think about how little they have to pay for everything. Clothing manufacturers get away with charging an arm and a leg for plus-sized clothing because it’s in high demand and you can’t get it everywhere. And half of the time we don’t have a choice whether or not to pay for it. A friend of mine has to wear special medical pantyhose that she pays $50 for, and they ripped after a week of ownership – on a tiny, tiny budget, she can either be uncomfortable or she can spend tons of money on a new pair. Folks who need to wear support undergarments aren’t paying skinny people fashion-panties prices, and fat people very, very rarely get those 3-for-1 deals that the skinny folks have.

I am not a rich fat person. And that’s fucking hard because the world thinks I should have to pay extra due to my size.